Wow, the more you say squander, the weirder it sounds…I’ve actually just googled it because it lost all meaning. The reason I’m thinking of this word is because as I am drawing close to lunch time I’m still in bed, wracked with guilt at not making more use of my time. The thing is, I never…and I mean never, get an opportunity to do this anymore, and I didn’t appreciate it back in the day when I squandered many a day without a second thought. It was my turn for a lie in this morning, and when my husband brought baby up to be watched for a few minutes, he only flipping nodded off next to me on the bed…what bliss! The older two are doing crafts and watching television downstairs so I decided to stay snuggled in bed with baby. The sun has been shining through the curtains so I’ve had to shove those feelings of guilt down even further at the thought of missing some sunshine, which has been a rare sight this week. Instead I appreciated the way the light shone through the curtains, how peaceful it is in my room and snuggled down some more in the warm glow.
I think it’s all to easy in these busy lives we lead to feel we have to make constructive use of any free time which happens upon us, and feel guilty for not doing anything…I will especially feel a certain stress tonight when writing down my sons ‘weekend diary’ for him to take into school, needless to say I won’t be detailing my extravagant laziness this morning while they sampled the joys of copious amounts of children’s television!
So I managed to get down the stairs and realised all those little ‘needless’ jobs I had convinced myself do not need doing today actually result in the house looking like more of a bin than usual…I was definitely not going to put a load of washing in, vacuum, tidy…basically anything that could wait was going to wait! Grandma is cooking tea so no stress there. However, in the cold light of day, and the realisation that I absolutely don’t want to face this on Monday morning I concede that I have to do the cleaning!
My ultimate plan today was to go for a nice family walk, but as the grey clouds have now drawn in this is less appealing. Instead I’ve finally finished the chair for my studio and aim to start putting the finishing touches to the coat I am making. The bonus of my family having a farm is that the children can go and enjoy the great outdoors anyway later when we descend for tea. Have I squandered the day? Well yes, maybe a little, but everyone is happy having a nice relax at home for a change and with my impending phase back into work this week it has been a welcome change.
Last week I rescued this little lady from the snow outside, she was shivering and her wings were soaked.
I brought her in to warm up, called her Miss Flutterbee and she has been my little friend this past week. We chatted in the mornings as I made breakfast, she couldn’t fly due to her damaged wing but I made her a cosy little home and fed her up back to full health. Alas, when I came down today she had passed away, not surprising as she should have been hibernating I guess. I’m going to miss my little buddy, I’d become quite attached. I aim to make a little textile butterfly out of some vintage fabrics I have in her memory…it’s okay to be this attached to a little bug isn’t it?!